AGAIN

I went into work tonight because Ken had some stuff for me to do and that creepy guy came in AGAIN! He was watching me the whole time and as soon as I saw him I went and found Ken, I stayed in technology, so the guy walks out of line and kind of starts walking toward me and I stayed by Ken most of the time. After the guy finally checked out Ken went over and talked to him. I don't really want to post all of what Ken said to him, but when Ken first started talking to him he was like, "I only asked her out once" which means if this continues, Ken has the words straight from the guy's mouth. But he can't keep bothering me because if he does, Ken will call the police. It makes me feel a little better, and I'm really glad Ken did that but some of my other managers aren't nearly as proactive about taking care of their employees so I don't really have faith in anyone else except Ron, who was also there tonight. This guy seriously weirds me out, the way he just stares at me is fucking scary as hell. And he always manages to come in when I'm working, so far no one can really remember seeing him any other time. Now that doesn't mean he's never come in when I've been off, but it is just a little odd. Everyone knows who he is by now, since this is the third time in the last month or so that he's been in and it's been obvious that he's been watching me. Fucking weird.

More Things That Irritate Me

• SNOW. I can not show off my new car if it is covered in snow. Stupid Mother Nature, what a bitch.

• I underatand that what happened in Omaha yesterday is terrible. For those of you who live under a rock, this guy went into one of the malls in Omaha and killed 8 people before killing himself. My problem with the reaction however, is that the hundreds of thousands of deaths in Darfur, Iraq, etc. are simply shrugged off, as though it's okay that murder occurs elsewhere, as long as it's not in in our country. Murder is something we should never get used to hearing about, no matter how big or small the number of victims.

Last, but certinaly not least, not by a long shot...

• Sorry Gays, apparently when it comes to hate crimes, you still don't matter. WHAT THE FUCK?! How can homosexuals still NOT be protected?! It's 2007! I am not in favor of this bill being tied to anything involving the war and defense spending, it needs to be it's own bill. My point moreso is just that fact that they are not protected at all in terms of hate crimes. It baffles me. If you're not shocked by the fact that homosexuals are still not protected under hate crime laws, then you're probably someone I don't want to know anyway.

Okay, bedtime. Maybe we won't get any more snow and I can post pictures of my new baby. I love her, but she still does not have a name.

Ramblings

It's not even midnight and I am pretty tired, that's part of the being sick thing though. This is going to be random so deal with it.

Sometimes I don't think people realize how deep my trust issues run. It's not something I can control and I can't help when I feel the way I do or freak out about things. Right now that is how I am programmed and it just happens. I need reassurance that things are okay and that I am loved - not all the time, just sometimes. There are times when I read to much into one thing or another, but I just think that people need to be a little more considerate sometimes and while they make think they're words/actions are saying one thing, to me they are saying something completely different, thus the worry. I don't like worrying about stuff, but I also don't like not knowing what is going on. I also don't like waiting on people.

Sometimes I want to chop off all my hair just to freak people out. I think I'd die though, because I love my hair so much. You'd love your hair so much too if yours looked as good as mine.

I don't have a lot of girl friends because girls are dramatic and stupid, as illustrated tonight when I shared the Crazy Rachel story with my roommate Bryan. He had to hear the story in order to differentiate between Crazy Rachel, Crazy Jessika, and Crazy Jenny. I do however, have four of the best girl friends in the world (and that's pretty much my limit, four), thus they are the ones who are going to be in my wedding.

The new people moved in upstairs smoke a lot of pot. Bryan and I were sitting in his room and could smell it soooo strongly. Now they are in the stairwell right above my bedroom, giggling. I hate when guys giggle. Laugh like a man, damnit. And now I smell weed again. Gross. I don't think anyone is home upstairs, because these guys are just sitting in the stairwell throwing stuff at the door upstairs, I think they're waiting for the people who live there to come home. They're really starting to piss me off.

I started watching Friends again, and am on season six. I love this show. Almost as much as I love Buffy, which I also have to watch again.

I have also decided that once again I need to lose weight. People argue with me on this one a lot, but I don't like hearing, "But you're a healthy weight" - by this I mean, when someone says "You're healthy" they really mean you have some meat on your bones, thus you are fat. I will still be healthy, I just won't be flabby. Gross.

Do what you say you are going to do, when you say you are going to do it. Please.

I Don't Care If You Go To Office Max

I must really look like I truly care about the future of Office Depot. I am working there to pass the time until I am able to get a real job. When ever customers say "I can find this cheaper somewhere else" or "I'll just go to Office Max" I think they really think they are hurting my feelings. You know what, I'll even give you directions if you need them, because I don't care. I don't care if you go to Wal-Mart, Target, Best Buy, Office Max, Staples, etc. Go. Please go. You are annoying me anyway and you're stupid, so go shop somewhere else where I will not be bothered by you.

Not much else going on, as usual. Just working a lot and sleeping too. I feel like I am really catching up on all the sleep I missed in the last four and a half years. I do, however, have to start looking into getting my teaching certificate in Illinois though, as well as what the University of Illinois requires for entrance into their SpEd program, and Ed Psych. I also have to start apartment hunting soon because the lease is up in May and none of us are going to renew, because, while everything is fine again with the three of us, we all know we should never live together again.

I am sure JohnRoss will be able to answer this question, so I am hoping he gets around to reading this. I know it's okay for girls who's best friend is a guy to have him be the "maid of honor" but is it okay for him to just be a part of the bridal party? Here's the deal: Teetz is one of my best friends. I want him to be in my wedding. I was thinking he and Silas would be ushers, but the more I think about it, I really want him in my bridal party, which I know sounds kind of weird but I can't help it, he's Teetz. Well, Courtney will be my maid of honor of course, unless something completely unforeseen happens, and in the case that it does, Britt would assume maid of honor duties. Who knows, I know this is a long ways off anyway but I am still thinking about it because I love planning, and what better to plan than a wedding that isn't even happening for another 1+ year(s). Teetz wasn't entirely sure about this whole idea though, and suggested we play "Follow The Leader" down the aisle, which I thought was hilarious, but no one but he and Britt and I would get the joke. See, last year when we all lived near each other (Teetz and I were in Pound, Britt in Husker Courtyards), we would always walk to the Devaney Center for basketball games. Well, one day I suggested we play follow the leader and I said Teetz could go first. Well, he starts doing all this silly stuff, cartwheels, a duck walk, just really silly stuff. Then, when he spins around, he realizes he has been doing it by himself the whole time and Britt and I have just been walking like normal behind him. Good times, for us at least, but it was all in good fun and he didn't mind too much. I think my dress will be a bit much to play "Follow The Leader" in though, so it will probably have to be saved for the reception.

Thinking about "Follow The Leader" actually made me kind of sad, because it reminded me of everything I wrote about in my last post, and here was yet another memory I have of my two best friends. *Sigh*. I am starting to really hate change.

SLACKERS BEWARE!

If you come into the testing center tonight and say stupid things or do stupid things, I will be mean to you. If you are too dumb to figure out by now that you can't have the same scratch paper for one test that you just used on another (IDIOT PSYCH 350 GIRL) or if you can't figure out that the essay section for exam 3 is just like the others and has to be graded BEFORE YOU LEAVE just like the first two exams (STUPID PSYCH 181 GUYS), then you really don't deserve to be here and I will make sure you know it. For those of you who have taken Psych 181, yes I know the computers don't grade the essays, but you have to be smart enough to hit grade so we can send the tests to the grading people online. And why would you leave your account open anyway? I am a firm believe after 5 semesters working here that the kids who take any of the psych classes on-line are the dumbest kids at this university. I mean this as a whole however, and not each individual, because a few of my friends have taken psych classes online, and other people in general who I know to be very smart. However, the idiocy has been proven several times. I don't have these problems with poli sci kids. It's ridiculous.

Not much else going on, we're pretty busy, thus why this post is taking so long for me to write even though it is short. Still paying rent in an apartment I am pretty much using as a storage unit, but what can you do, I pretty much refuse to sleep there unless I absolutely have to.

Papa John's is having a 50% off everything deal and it ends tonight at 8 so we ordered a couple pizzas. It's a good thing I haven't eaten yet today or those calories would really be adding up. Gross.

There's a guy in here right now who has really big hair, and not in a good way. It looked like he wanted a fro so he took a brush and ratted, only it just ended up looking like mice had been nesting in yet. Guys are so dumb sometimes.

Only a few days left of almost everything! I am excited, though I am starting to get a little wistful over graduation. Thank goodness that won't last too long.

Shame On Husker Nation

I have never been more ashamed to be a Cornhusker than yesterday at our football against Oklahoma. Granted, there was a really terrible call toward the end, but do you know what the response was of the so-called "greatest fans in college football"? It was to throw whatever objects they could onto the field. It was absolutely disgusting and the poorest showing of 'sportsmanship' I have ever seen in my life - and I have attended TONS of football games and sporting events in general in my life. I understand the being angry, it was a horrible call and we had every right to be upset. However, throwing half full water bottles and pop bottles onto the field was ridiculous and I am glad they kicked people out of the game for it, it was so disgusting to see that. One bottle hit one of the members of the chain gang - and he had nothing to do with that call at all! He was simply standing there marking the downs, doing his job, and a bottle hit him. I am not sure if it was intentional or not, but regardless, it should not have happened. Then, to top it off, our "greatest fans" booed our own team. Are you fucking kidding me?! You NEVER NEVER NEVER boo your team, no matter what. I miss the days of Tom Osborne when Scott Frost was booed his first season, Osborned said at the post-game press conference for those fans to not come back the following week because he only wanted true Husker fans at the game. I think Callahan needs to do that too, and Solich should have when fans booed Jamal Lord - yes, I know Jamal sucked, but like I said, you NEVER boo your own team, especially against such a huge rival, and their fans will feed off of that so much. The whole day was disgusting, I was so mad, I was just livid. Husker Nation needs to wake up and realize that we are no where near being the '95 team again, or the '97 team, even the 2001 team (yes I know we got spanked by Miami in the Rose Bowl, but we were still a good team) and we will never get back to that position if our fans continue to act that way in front of the entire country which already hates Nebraska fotball anyway. Way to go guys, you all succeeded in making us look like fools again. Shame on all of us.

Whew, We Escaped...Barely

Well, Nebraska survived thus far. After last week, I was nervous for Iowa State and I know I am not the only one who was having multiple heart attacks tonight. Double OT is not good, but we're still undefeated, however I have a feeling that will change when Texas Tech comes to town. For the most part the game was fun, except I was sitting next to one of those stupid females that didn't know shit about football, you know the kind - those that give women who do know a lot about football a bad name because they are horrible fans and don't know what they're talking about. Example #1: When we missed a field goal, this girl says to her friend, "That is ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous, you do not miss field goals, you go to a D-1 school. I think we should say no food for him until he starts practicing a little more." OH MY GOD, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I really get annoyed with dumb bitches who don't understand the game to begin with and have to ask every five seconds, "What does that mean?" but seriously, if she thinks he is the only D-1 kicker to ever miss a field goal, she is the dumbest girl on the planet and believe me, I know some really stupid people, who luckily I do not have to associate with any longer. David Dyches is a much better kicker anyway and should have been starting this season, but that is a whole other post for another time. Anyway, example #2 of her stupidity: one of our defensive lineman ended up chasing ISU's qb on a scramble and she told him to get his fat ass moving. First of all, that 300+ pound fat ass can still run faster than her any day and second of all, generally the linemen aren't scramblers to begin with. The final straw came when we were given a sideline warning and she is freaking out saying how dumb the refs are and calling them all sorts of names, I was like, "It's just a warning, calm the fuck down for Christ's sake." She didn't say another word the rest of the game, it was glorious. I like making stupid bitches shut their mouths. I just wish that if women are going to go to football games and are going to talk trash, they should at least understand the game to begin with so they don't make those of us who actually know our shit look stupid along with them.

Grrrr

So I had this great post I was doing about religion and my computer restarted while I was at Burnett. I was pissed. I am still kind of pissed so I am not going to retype it just yet. Instead I will relish the fact that Kenny Chesney and Renee "I'm Annoying and A Horrible Actress" Zellweger are having their marriage annulled. This makes me very very happy because I was devastated to learn they'd even been dating at all in the first place. I adore Kenny Chesney, and while he is not necessarily that great of a person exactly, he is an amazing performer and divine to look at. He can do better than Renee and he will, unfortunately for him I am taken and will be for the rest of my life now (hint, hint) so he will have to find a happy medium between me (way awesome) and Renee (way not awesome.

In other news, I am not sure if I reported this yet or not but Shona and I decided we're going to start our own school. We were pretty fed up with all these school meetings and team meetings and PLCs that we're going to have our own primary school and we won't have meetings. Basically, our idea is going to be that you do what you have to do to teach the children everything they need to know as dictated by state and federal standards for education. Feel free to collaborate with colleagues, but we're not going to waste your time making you sit at stupid meetings arguing about the mission statement of the school for two hours. That's dumb. Instead we will follow the 'Git-R-Done" policy: Get whatever done you need to in order to best equip these children for their future and do it right, or you're fired. I think it will be great because if there is one thing I hate, it is pointless and stupid meetings.

"Good News and Bad News"

That's how Taylor described it to me today. So we were at work a couple days ago and my friend Taylor said he was told by one of his sergeants that they may have a chance to go down to New Orleans to help out with flood relief and maintaining some kind of order...

...And while I am thinking of this I have an almost completed unrelated side-note: I was listening to the radio on my way to Belmont today and one stupid DJ was like, "It's my birthday and I don't want to celebrate because I feel guilty about the hurricane." Are you fucking kidding me? I'm sorry, but that has got to be one of the most ridiculous things I have heard in a while, and given some of the people I know, that's saying a lot. These words actually came out of her mouth. Why does she feel guilty for celebrating her birthday? She is completely unrelated to this incident and has nothing to do with it. Yes, we all feel horrible about what happened and many people are doing whatever they can to help, in terms of supplies, money, shelter, etc. but not celebrating your birthday is hardly going to do anything and all you managed to accomplish was to make yourself sound like an idiot. Of course her co-DJ sounded dumb too, commending her for it but saying it was something he could never do. Your birthday is inconsequential to these people and whether or not you celebrate it doesn't matter to anyone, you mean nothing, go celebrate your stupid birthday and shut the hell up...

...and now back to Taylor. I got a voice mail from him while I was helping with Curriculum Night at Belmont, and the exact words were, "Hey hon, give me a call when you get this, talk to you later, bye." Now, this wouldn't have been all that bad, except the tone of his voice was not his normal self, and I've heard this tone before. I heard it in Adam's voice when he said almost the exact same thing to me back in December with, "Sarah, there's something I need to tell you..." and then he told me he was going to Iraq. Well, guess what, the good news is this: Taylor does not have to go to New Orleans or anywhere down south. The bad news: he is on alert and will be deployed again in the near future. I don't know all of the details yet and won't for a while, but there's a high probability he will be going in the next couple weeks/month. Hence, we are going out tomorrow night and we're going to act like nothing's changed and we're all getting ready crunked (as Tom always likes to say). It just sucks because he's only been back since December and now he's going to be going again less than a year later.

On a slightly happier note - I got a ticket to the Wake Forest game on Saturday so I won't be completely without my Huskers this season. I am glad I took Saturdays off, I really need some time to regroup between being at Belmont all the time, and then Office Shithole, and the Testing Center too.

Anyway, that's all for now, I have to get to bed soon, these kids are wearing me out!

Annoyed

You know, it really bugs me when people promise something and don't follow through with it. If you can't keep promises about little things, how can you be trusted to follow through on big promises. Just a thought.

Random Ramblings

You know, I would like to retire someday. I know I am awfully young to be thinking about this now, but when my time comes I want to know that I have enough saved and will be able to live comfortably for the rest of my life, should I reach retirement age. There are some people in this world who enjoy work and do it as long as possible, and some who work because they have no other choice, regardless of their age. I always feel bad when I see old people working at places like Wal-Mart, it just makes me feel bad. I know these people fall into both categories I mentioned, but I just think that it is sad when they have to work because they are not being taken care of by friends or family. I don't mind it if they do want to work but for those that HAVE to, I wish they didn't. Not only because I think they have worked for so long and should have a break, but because some people are just so damn mean. Have you seen how cranky or mean some people are to the cart ladies or the nice little old men who hand out the smiley face stickers? It's ridiculous. Last time I was home my grandma mentioned she thought about applying to Wal-Mart. My grandma is one of the sweetest people in the world and I hate the thought of someone being mean to her, and I would hate for her to have to get a job now, when all she should have to worry about is making sure all her flowers are planted for the summer. It's dumb. Wal-Mart is evil. Old people should not have to work a single day past the age of retirement. If anyone is mean to my grandma I will punch them in the face.

Not much else is going on aside from working. We have extended hours for Back to School in August. Gross. But if I get almost 40 a week I will be happy. Nothing else great to report on, but something I forgot about a week and a half ago when we were out: we saw Crazy Rachel. She flipped us off. Guess she's still a little mad, but not my problem, like I told her, it was her mistake, not mine. I emailed her and said I didn't think she was being mature flipping my friends off and she responded saying she was flipping me off, not them. I think it is kind of hard to flip someone off if they are not looking at you. Then the full effect of the flipping off is lost if they don't even know you did it. She's dumb. She responded to me also saying that I was still a selfish bitch who stabbed her in the back. My bad, I forgot that she ranks above everyone else in my life, but honestly, she knew Adam was going away, of course I would want to spend every waking moment possible with him. And if one were to talk about being a true friend, then she should have told me about Alexis and Adam when I point blank asked her if he had cheated on me. But that's neither here nor there, because the point is, she will always be crazy and I will always be right.

I am kind of anxious for school to start, I am getting bored. I am glad I will be in a familiar classroom with a familiar teacher, and it's cool that I get to be Mrs. Rengal's first student teacher. We'll see how it goes, but I'm psyched. But right now, I think I just want to take a nap.

Quick Fix

It was brought to my attention today that comments were not being allowed to be posted and sure enough, I checked it and for some reason it was set to some bullshit about blog ring members only. Funny, since I don't actually have a blog ring. But yeah, now comments are allowed once again. Blogspot really does suck.

This site sucks

I am fed up with this site and it has only been a few days. Every time I try to post something I get some huge error message and it is ridiculous. I guess I just have to move to some other site because I don't have the patience for this shit.

Ladder Theory

I am still not very happy with what happened yesterday. Someone intentionally closed the window to spite me when I wasn't even doing anything wrong. There were other people in the situation, I was actually doing what I was supposed to be doing here at work, and told him such, but apparently that does not matter because he still went and closed this out anyway. This itself is not important, but it is the principle of the matter. This is just a blog post and can be rewritten fairly quickly, it's not a huge deal (though I had a lot of great ideas and now can't remember a lot of what I said because it was yesterday and I was so mad), but if it had been something really important like a homework assignment and he had closed it then what would I have done? I think it is low, especially since he took his frustration or whatever he wants to call it out on me. I just think it was rude and not funny and trust is definitely lacking now. But whatever, his loss.

Now on to more important things now: Ladder Theory.

If you still have not read Ladder Theory then you need to because regardless what any men or women might say about it, a lot of it actually seems to be true. I am not saying I agree with the entire thing right down to the very last idea, but there are two basic concepts that are at the core of this theory: 1) some women are naive to think that men and women can always remain just friends and 2) all men ever think about is sex. Period. Sorry kiddos, it's common knowledge, you can't deny it, it is what makes men and women fundamentally different. Granted, there are guys who enjoy hanging out with women who are just their friends, and there are women who like to have sex as much as guys, but it just doesn't happen quite as often that way.

This post is basically coming about because a few days ago I was informed I was what the site refers to as an Intellectual Pimp. (In this specific case the guy who told me this was referring to my friendship with Teetz, because he lives on Teetz's floor and sees us together all the time. However, throughout the rest of this, I am not specifically referring to Teetz, because he is not my only guy friend in the world, nor am I even really referring to my guy friends at all, but guys in general. Also, this theory doesn't even apply to Teetz and me because anyone who knows us well knows that most of our time is spent arguing anyway and that our situation is different from most male/female friendships). This really got me to think about all my guy friends and if they were Intellectual Whores or not, and if this really was true. I have concluded that while the core principles are pretty true, it is okay, because guys will be guys. It doesn't mean anything if they want to have sex with you, they do because they are guys and simply programmed to think that all the time. It also does not actually mean that all my guy friends want to have sex with me because I don't believe that part is true, I think guys and girls can be friends, even though this does go against the theory and the guy writing it would call me stupid and naive. Apparently though, this theory then also makes me a bitch because I have my guy friends who I use for entertainment, my amusement, intelligent conversation, etc, yet I still go off and date the assholes and Outlaw Bikers who offer nothing really except alcohol and sex. Confusing, isn't it?

However, this also got me thinking about male/female friendships and I wonder why sometimes they actually work so well. I have always had more guy friends than girl friends, mostly because girls are psycho and dramatic and bitchy and I can hardly handle myself sometimes, let alone a ton of girls just like me. Thus, I was friends with boys. I was content remaining this way through college, though I did join a sorority where a lot of the girls shared my viewpoint to begin with, but we are still psycho and dramatic, so it kind of defeated the purpose. But anyway. Maybe sometimes guys and girls are friends because they want the relationship without actually having one, if that makes sense. Like, you go places together, eat together, buy stuff for each other, and generally people who don't know you assume you're dating (which may or may not be something you want, I don't know, you may not even realize you are projecting that image), without all the fuzzy feelings, analyzing every small thing the other person said that might lead you to believe a break up is on the horizon, etc. This works out great for some people, but there is also the lack of physical contact then, i.e. NO SEX. That is, unless you have the friends-with-benefits thing going on, which is an entirely different case. I am not talking about friends-with-benefits here though, because in those situations you don't have all the other stuff, like the BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER (that would be a pointed reference to The Ex for those that missed it).

I don't know, at this point I have been at work for the last three hours and have been working on this sporadically throughout that time. I am not sure if I repeated myself, if I started editing sentences and forgot to finish, if I have incomplete thoughts, whatever. I don't know what my point is or if I really made it even. Maybe I just feel like babbling, and we all know I like to hear myself talk, or in this case see myself talk. One thing I do disagree with in Ladder Theory is the statements that if a guy is nice to a girl, he just wants to have sex with her. There is the variable of human decency which he is then suggesting guys do not have if the theory was absolute. Nothing is absolute however, so some guys can be nice just for the sake of being nice. However, those guys might be hard to find, so pretty much here is what I have to say in closing:

Women: Continue to be Intellectual Pimps, a lot guys deserve it.
Men: You will be Intellectual Whores and you will like it. Consider yourself lucky you even get to be an Intellectual Whore to a hott woman at all, because some of you do not deserve it.

Pissed Off

Okay, I had this incredibly awesome post that I was working on but because SOMEONE decided to be spiteful and close the window before I was done, it is no longer here. It will remain not here for a while because I am too mad to rewrite it just yet, but it was awesome and about Ladder Theory. If you have not read about this theory yet go to the website www.intellectualwhores.com and read that first. That way, when I am done being pissed off and rewrite my post, you will already know what I am talking about.